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on October 29, 2022

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Well fuck, here's some dick jokes and some talk about Barbarian

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Ladies and Gentlemen: The Rolling Stones – the concert film complement to Cocksucker Blues

Ladies and Gentlemen: The Rolling Stones – the concert film complement to Cocksucker Blues By Zack Wilson The other week at Couch Thing we took a closer look at the Rolling Stones’ famous ‘lost movie’ Cocksucker Blues, Robert Frank’s fly on the wall ‘rockumentary’ about the band’s 1972 American tour. While that film was suppressed for years, and can only be seen these days thanks to some kind soul posting it on YouTube, another film document of that 1972 tour was released in 1974. ‘Ladies and Gentlemen: The Rolling Stones’ is purely a concert film, and features the band playing many of the songs which have since become standards. The performances are taken from a number of concerts on the tour, as can be seen from the band’s costume changes. Most of those numbers were very new at the time, of course. If you want to know about the Rolling Stones, a copy of this film is really all you need. If you want to know what rock n roll used to actu

Title: “Moriarty’s Monster Hunt”

I dislike AI . In fact, AI isn’t an actual thing. We people hear the phrase “artificial intelligence” they are likely to picture HAL from 2001 a Space Odyssey, or R2-D2 from Star Wars , or the cute kid from Steven Spielberg’s Stanley Kubrick pastiche AI: Artificial Intelligence or some other pop-culture touchstone. LLMs (Large Language Models) and other so-called “generative A.I.” are nothing like that at all. ChatGP, etc are simply gussied up predictive text models. They lack creativity, reason, desires, or anything that we would recognize as thought. I highly recommend reading Thomas Searle (Minds, Brain Science) and other philosophers on the matter. The ChineseRoom thought experiment should be revelatory for anyone. I decided to do a little experiment with Bing Copilot (their free AI chatbot). I gave it two prompts: 1. write a story in which American Actor Michael Moriarty is tasked with hunting down and killing monsters from various movies he has been in, b

Capsule Review: Touch of Evil

Touch Of Evil is a bit of a contradiction. A 1950's b film, it has risen above its roots to be considered a great work of art, and deservedly so. Orson Welles came to direct mostly by accident, or misunderstanding. When Charlton Heston was offered the starring role he was told that Welles had signed on to play the heavy. Heston, assuming that Welles would also direct agreed to appear in the film for the chance to be directed by the great auter. Universal was so enamored of Heston that they immediately went about signing Welles to helm the movie.* Welles saw Touch Of Evil as a one-dimensional thriller, and set about transforming it into something different. The film opens with a now famous tracking sequence, at the time it was the longest uninterrupted tracking shot in movie history. It immediately informs the audience that they are in for something new.

Let's sit here by the fire and discuss The Mandalorian

Before we get started, this is the mandatory warning that everything below is filled with spoilers. If you have not yet seen the first two episodes of The Mandalorian , then stop reading now. You've been warned. The Mandalorian is basically a western. It opens with a scene that would fit in any Sergio Leone film. Inside a rather dank looking saloon, obvious baddies are harassing a meek fellow, and threatening violence. The doors open and the hero of the piece saunters in. The Mandalorian is a silent, lanky presence. He brings to mind a young Charles Bronson or Clint Eastwood. Within moments he has killed the bullies, and revealed himself as a bounty hunter. The twist in the scene is that he is here to capture the milquetoast man that he just saved. We follow our now obviously more antihero than hero as he goes to get paid and seek out another job. He is led to Werner Herzog, who adds gravitas to a character that we would expect (this being Star Wars, after all) to b

let's improve on the Oscars

I largely gave up on the idea that the Oscars were some realistic measure of quality in film (mostly talking about the Best Picture award here, but your mileage may vary with all of the awards) around the time I learned that How Green Was My Valley bested Citizen Kane for the best picture award back at the dawn of time. Everyone still takes these awards seriously, but why? I mean, how many Best Picture Oscars does Mad Max: Fury Road have? Zero. It has zero despite being not just the best film of the year it came out, but the best film of the decade as well. The Academy has released the nominees for this years awards, and there is a lot to be worried about. The list of Best Picture nominees isn't offensive. It's just odd. Here it is: Ford V. Ferrari The Irishman Jojo Rabbit Joker Little Women Marriage Story 1917 Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood Parasite Ford V. Ferrari doesn't belong on this list at all. It's mid-range suburban dad en

The greatest final movie lines of all time. Number seven will amaze you! (is that click-baity enough?)

Movie dialogue can be revelatory. It can be weird and otherworldly. It can be funny, or hyper-realistic. It can be downright bad. When dialogue works, it makes the entire movie work. nice. And sometimes a single line can upend the entire way we feel about the movie. In fact, some movies are nearly dominated by their final line. For your enjoyment, as far as This Couch Thing is concerned, these are the greatest final lines of movies of all time. 10. “Alright, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up." - Sunset Boulevard 9. "Now, where was I?" -Memento 8. “It’s a shame she won’t live. Then again, who does?” – Bladerunner 7. “I’m Finished” - There Will Be Blood 6. “It’s a strange world, isn’t it?” - Blue Velvet 5. "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part” - Se7en 4. "I can't imagine why." - Jaws 3. "Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown." - Chinatown

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