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Merry Christmas, Everyone!

on December 24, 2019

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Black Christmas

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Capsule Review: Touch of Evil

Touch Of Evil is a bit of a contradiction. A 1950's b film, it has risen above its roots to be considered a great work of art, and deservedly so. Orson Welles came to direct mostly by accident, or misunderstanding. When Charlton Heston was offered the starring role he was told that Welles had signed on to play the heavy. Heston, assuming that Welles would also direct agreed to appear in the film for the chance to be directed by the great auter. Universal was so enamored of Heston that they immediately went about signing Welles to helm the movie.* Welles saw Touch Of Evil as a one-dimensional thriller, and set about transforming it into something different. The film opens with a now famous tracking sequence, at the time it was the longest uninterrupted tracking shot in movie history. It immediately informs the audience that they are in for something new.

The Girl on the Third Floor

The Girl on the Third Floor has a major problem right at its heart and that problem undermines what could have been an enjoyable horror movie. This is the feature debut of Travis Stevens from a script by himself and three other writers. Sometimes too many writing credits can be a bad sign; evidence of a film that has been monkeyed with by a studio. Here though, there are no other signs of that. The film stars C.M. Punk as Don, a not very likable man who is fixing up an old house in preparation for the arrival of his child who his wife will give birth to soon. Don has a dark past that may weigh on him, although he tries to hide it. The house is trouble from the start. What look to be minor repairs balloon and each room reveals more decay. Outlets ooze black goo. The walls are stuffed with old clothes and, inexplicably, a wig. A ceiling collapses for no reason. Don finds himself losing track of time and being transfixed by the strangeness of it all. The real trouble st

30 for 10: The Best Horror Movies of the 2010s

The 2010s were a great decade for horror movies. There was a small renaissance of sorts, where horror regained some of its mainstream appeal while at the same time seeing a resurgence of art house terror. People Like Jordan Peele and Ari Aster did a lot shape the conversation and to remind people that horror is the best genre to work in if you want to say something about societal ills. Couch Thing would like to present our picks for the 30 Best Horror Films of the 2010s: 30. Let Me In A touching story of childhood loneliness that just happens to feature vampires. 29. Don’t Breathe A tense thriller that pretends to be a home invasion horror flipped on its head, but is really more interested in urban poverty following the housing collapse. 28. The Purge: Election Year The Purge series started with a mediocre home invasion horror. The series has bucked the normal trend by actually improving with each entry. This one manages to be a strong class satire w

Let's sit here by the fire and discuss The Mandalorian

Before we get started, this is the mandatory warning that everything below is filled with spoilers. If you have not yet seen the first two episodes of The Mandalorian , then stop reading now. You've been warned. The Mandalorian is basically a western. It opens with a scene that would fit in any Sergio Leone film. Inside a rather dank looking saloon, obvious baddies are harassing a meek fellow, and threatening violence. The doors open and the hero of the piece saunters in. The Mandalorian is a silent, lanky presence. He brings to mind a young Charles Bronson or Clint Eastwood. Within moments he has killed the bullies, and revealed himself as a bounty hunter. The twist in the scene is that he is here to capture the milquetoast man that he just saved. We follow our now obviously more antihero than hero as he goes to get paid and seek out another job. He is led to Werner Herzog, who adds gravitas to a character that we would expect (this being Star Wars, after all) to b

let's improve on the Oscars

I largely gave up on the idea that the Oscars were some realistic measure of quality in film (mostly talking about the Best Picture award here, but your mileage may vary with all of the awards) around the time I learned that How Green Was My Valley bested Citizen Kane for the best picture award back at the dawn of time. Everyone still takes these awards seriously, but why? I mean, how many Best Picture Oscars does Mad Max: Fury Road have? Zero. It has zero despite being not just the best film of the year it came out, but the best film of the decade as well. The Academy has released the nominees for this years awards, and there is a lot to be worried about. The list of Best Picture nominees isn't offensive. It's just odd. Here it is: Ford V. Ferrari The Irishman Jojo Rabbit Joker Little Women Marriage Story 1917 Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood Parasite Ford V. Ferrari doesn't belong on this list at all. It's mid-range suburban dad en

The greatest final movie lines of all time. Number seven will amaze you! (is that click-baity enough?)

Movie dialogue can be revelatory. It can be weird and otherworldly. It can be funny, or hyper-realistic. It can be downright bad. When dialogue works, it makes the entire movie work. nice. And sometimes a single line can upend the entire way we feel about the movie. In fact, some movies are nearly dominated by their final line. For your enjoyment, as far as This Couch Thing is concerned, these are the greatest final lines of movies of all time. 10. “Alright, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up." - Sunset Boulevard 9. "Now, where was I?" -Memento 8. “It’s a shame she won’t live. Then again, who does?” – Bladerunner 7. “I’m Finished” - There Will Be Blood 6. “It’s a strange world, isn’t it?” - Blue Velvet 5. "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part” - Se7en 4. "I can't imagine why." - Jaws 3. "Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown." - Chinatown

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Merry Christmas, Everyone!

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