Notes taken while watching Les Affames (The Ravenous) while lying in bed

A spindly chair in fog is an interesting image to open on. Very moody.

Car racing.  Loud and boring.

Hey! We already have a zombie attack. Like two minutes in. Nice.

And people are fleeing.  Blood. Wreckage.  We haven't met a character yet. No dialogue yet either.

Breaking the tension with a masturbation joke might make sense if any real tension had been built , but we're a bit early for that. Maybe this is character development?

This shot of burning bodies lasts too long. This isn't an art film, kids.

French pop music is just as bad as English pop music.

Is that Malkovich? No, sadly it isn't.

Okay, this just got creepy.

Great use of location.  This is creating some serious daylight horror vibes. It's got a sense of place and understands how that can drive story as well as tone.

Creepy kids!!

Fast zombies. Oh well.

Is that Malkovich though? Like, did they place an advert that said "we can't afford Malkovich, but will take the store brand"?

Head shot. Noice!

It's a shame not Malkovich has ruined that seersucker shirt.

Bald guy 1 and bald guy two have so far told bad jokes and run up against some zombies. Now they're giving us some character beats while bald guy 2 is dying.  This is meant to be sad. We don't know them well enough to be moved by it.

A dog. He looks nice. He needs pets.

Sad business lady needs gas and gets stripped by mean has station couple but then they give her her clothes back. That seems weird.

They have beer, though.

Bald guy 1 runs into an old friend I guess? This seems disjointed.

Is that an accordion?

There's a girl tied up. Hmmmm.

Maybe she was bit. Oh good, bald guy 1 is explaining how the zombie thing works. It's exposition,  it has to go somewhere.

I wonder if I have any fruit snacks left.

Did the friend get iced off screen? The girl is untied now, so that's good.

That's a good horde.

I wonder if the woman in red is important.

Exploding head.

I should watch The Battery again. That's underrated.

It is an accordion.

Now I want to watch Holy Motors.

Where the fuck is Malkovich?

Startling people during a zombie apocalypse is not cool, dude
 Not cool.

Bald guy knows everyone who survived the zombies .

There's not Malkovich! I was starting to miss him.

He's hanging out with a kid who is clearly haunted by his own tragic back story.  We're gonna see that back story soon...

And there it is. RIP mom of haunted teen.

Nice barn.

Nice house.

Okay, this is getting creepy again. Good editing choices are really working for me.

Sparse music.  That's a good choice.  I'm on edge here.

Previously tied up girl is talented.  She's doing a lot with her eyes and some subtle trembling. This all works.

Is that  paint on this little girl's face? What is that about?

Cute kid. Works in opposition to the creepy kids from before. Plus, cute kids really ramp of the level of concern.

A box of kittens.

More bad jokes. I guess that's bald guys character.

Clever use of mouse traps.

I have to look up the credits. Tied up girl is very good. I need to see what else she has been in.

Don't startle people during the zombie apocalypse! Damn it bro!


The fuck.  Is this some wicker man shit? Do these zombies have a religion? Okay, this could be setting up some serious metaphysical questions.  I doubt it, but it could.

Romero hinted at the idea of zombie culture.  It doesn't get talked about enough.  Is this movie leaning into that?

More not Malkovich.

Bald guy and his squad are meeting up with gas station people and businesses lady. I expected that.

That's too many mouse traps.

Crab apple jelly sounds terrible.

Serious conversation time  i guess. This is kind of killing the pace. Nice lighting though.

Something is coming.  I bet it's store brand Malkovich and the haunted teen.

Maybe I was wrong.  It's a big ass herd of zombies. Now the crew has to run for it.

Where is store brand Malkovich? Is he in this movie?

Cute little girl got her first zombie kill.  Good for her!

Decent gore.

Store brand Malkovich and the haunted teen have arrived.  The gang's all together now. Time to start toward the climax.

Oops. That wasn't a zombie.

So, the zombies are worshipping a tower of junk or something?

Is someone going to play that damned accordion?

Store brand Malkovich is an insurance salesman.  Now he has a back story too.


Romance over pickles?

These are awesome woods.

I wonder what Wilford Brimley is doing right now?

Foreboding trees.

Bad barricading.

How much time has passed? It seems like a couple of days , but the note they just read is written like weeks or months have passed. I am confused.

Oh no! We lost haunted teen and old gas station lady. Worst of all, store brand Malkovich is dead. I cannot go on.

I must go on.

Business lady is telling a dying child about her disappointing sex life for some reason.

Gas lady isn't quite dead.

Neither is haunted teen.

This movie is a tease.

Horses for some reason.

They found a bunker.  Just like in real life.

I miss store brand Malkovich.

We have creepy doll action.  Lots of smoke. And there's that chair from the opening.

And is that like a tower of babbel built of chairs? This is some next level Ionesco stuff here. This movie keeps hinting at something deeper and weirder than I expect on a Saturday night in November,  if you dig what I'm putting down. Did the zombies build this? Does the afterlife have a shortage of chairs? I'm lost again but now it's in a good way.

At this moment I am 100% invested.

It's a skyscraper of fucking kitchen chairs encircled by other chairs that all seem to be facing away from the tower. So , they aren't plaved so that supplicants can look upon the glory that is these chairs.

The zombies reacted to the death of another zombie suggesting that they feel a connection to each other.

Business lady is badass. Like Toshiro Mifune level.

Okay i am officially obsessed with the chair tower. I want one.

Accordion playing! Finally.

Bald guy gets in one last bad joke.  So long bald guy..

The cute kid is all alone. Sad.

At least she has the accordion.

That was a wild ride. It implies very interesting things without ever addressing them.


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